


Martin is a Fat Trans Man, and I Love That For Him

by CuttlefishKitch



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Body Positivity, By a trans author, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, It's all pretty brief and just discussed, Nonbinary Jonathan Sims, Tim has a genderfluid cousin, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Transphobic parent, Weight Gain, as opposed to seeing the actual interaction play out, dead naming, discussions of transphobia, frank discussions of trans bodies, gender euphoria, not the kinky kind, specifically with regard to gender euphoria, they're briefly mentioned - Freeform, trans sasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23107306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuttlefishKitch/pseuds/CuttlefishKitch
Summary: A brief look at Martin's transition, and his journey from gender dysphoria to gender euphoria.Rated T for the discussions of transphobia.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 243





	Martin is a Fat Trans Man, and I Love That For Him

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this just spilled out of me at 4 am one day and mixed some thoughts about body positivity and gender euphoria. It's overall a very positive fic, but do be warned about the brief discussions of transphobia. Also I'm a nonbinary trans person, writing about a binary trans guy (at least in this fic), so I'm sorry if there are any inaccuracies. That said, please enjoy!

Martin was always a skinny kid, not willowy by any stretch of the imagination, but tall and lean and built kind of like a street lamp. Bright eyes shining at the top of a tall, solid frame. He'd been binding and presenting as male since early high school, and while that made dropping out a bit of a relief in some ways, it didn't make his job searches in the aughts any easier. He went by Patrick for a while, even if it fit like the huge tee-shirts he usually draped over himself, too loose in the places he wanted to look big, and too tight where he wanted to look small, but he chose it so when his mother called him Pat or Patty like she always did he could pretend she didn't mean Patrcia. Eventually though, on one of his many, many, _many_ job application forms he wrote Martin, and never went back, even if his mum never used it.

When he finally landed an admin job at the Magnus Institute with a solid, five year contract he figured it was as good a time as any to start the hormones he'd always wanted but never had the time to pursue. It was easier than he'd expected to get a hold of them. The Magnus Institute seemed to have a surprisingly high concentration of queer people, and Jake from accounting told him exactly which doctors to go to to speed the process up and get a bridging prescription. He started HRT within a few months of joining up.

At first, when he started to gain weight he panicked. Any fat had always gone to his hips and thighs, and he'd been running religiously to make sure he could hide them under straight cut pants and a few layers of ill-fitting button ups and jackets. He quickly realized this didn't seem to be the case anymore. It was now going to his chest, and while that didn't seem ideal at first he found that his breasts started to blend in more to a broader frame, especially since his shoulders, arms, and stomach also seemed to be getting fatter.

It was an adjustment sure, and he spent a lot of time in his new, larger, binders and boxers in front of the mirrors staring at his reflection before deciding that even if he didn't quite _like_ his new body yet, he didn't really mind it. And after so many years of _hating_ it the relief of that was enough to make him cry. Just a little, tears interspersed with uncontrollable, breathy laughs, but he cried all the same.

He changed up his workout routine to compliment the new changes, less cardio and more weights since now his pecs didn't seem hellbent on their only purpose being to prop up his unwanted tits. His arms and shoulders broadened with the training and he found himself actually starting to nicely fill out some of his clothes. When he caught himself actually admiring the way the sleeves fit on one of his smaller flannels, he finally donated all the clothes that were still too big. He didn't cry this time, but when he stood in the dressing room of a consignment shop and tried on the few replacements he needed he couldn't stop smiling. He bought the clothes that fit him and was giddy all the way home.

The work outs never really made him any less fat, only adding a layer of muscle beneath his chub, and that suited him just fine. His breasts, which had, he supposed deflated was the right word, but it didn't make a less weird descriptor, could be easily passed off as a result of his body-type when he slouched. Granted, for the first time in his life he actually wanted to stand up straight, but not everything could be perfect all at once. Maybe in a year or two he'd properly look into surgery instead of just fantasizing about it. For now though his arms were strong and solid under the layer of soft that now covered his whole body, and it felt right. It felt like him.

He never really "came out" to any of the other archive staff, not officially. But Sasha wasn't shy to complain to him about how she had to change pharmacies because she didn't like how the woman at the one closest to her house looked at her when she picked up her estrogen, and he suggested the one near the tube stop he went to, cause they were always friendly when he picked up his shots. So she knew.

And one day Tim was going on about his brother and cousin's old escapades when he got a text, checked it, and switched to neutral pronouns for his cousin without a second thought. So Martin didn't feel weird about asking him what kind of razor was best for his face since he'd never really needed one before. (While he was absolutely thrilled he could now grow little a chinstrap stubble, he found he preferred the clean-shaven look.) So Tim knew.

Honestly he was most worried about Jon. He knew the Magnus Institute was an accepting place but something about the hard set of his jaw when he passed Martin in the hall made Martin wish HR would hurry up and finalize his new contract. Elias told him it was just a formality and he didn't need to worry about anything happening, but Martin couldn’t help the concern. Granted he didn't _actually_ think that was the reason Jon seemed to hate him, but after being fired so many times before finding this place some terrors stick around under your skin like cobwebs. It didn't help that, despite Jon's professional hostility, Martin was hopelessly crushing on his boss. He imagined this must be what it was like to be fourteen and hopelessly in love with an upperclassman. Crushes had never been afforded to him in high school, he'd had too many other worries.

But one day Jon came in wearing a plain, ankle-length skirt instead of his usual khakis, and it looked just as natural with his usual sweater-vest, button up combo. His first instinct was to ask if Jon still wanted to go by Jon, but when Sasha and Tim, who'd known Jon longer than Martin, didn't bat an eye and kept on using he and him, Martin thought better of it. He passed Jon the files he'd asked for and tried really hard not to stare, but the change of silhouette was fascinating. And poor Martin couldn't help but admire the way the fabric swished around Jon's ankles when he walked, that purposeful and slightly cocksure gait he always used when presenting himself to others. Like he didn't also sometimes aimlessly wander around his office while recording a statement. Martin watched Jon leave and somehow he was sure Jon _knew,_ and Martin was safe. And Martin was happy.


End file.
